Surgery and results update

Long and probably all over the place today sorry, rushing to get it done while i get two minutes without someone talking to me or yelling!

Surgery was a lot different this time, as in time frame’s, I walked in to the transit lounge and they said I was needed upstairs, so I thought yah (pretty sad when your excited you are going for surgery, but I gather you know what I mean) so went upstairs, signed a form and sat down in waiting area. There was another lady there and she asked what I was having and I told her what I had, she had the same thing, but hers was in her milk ducts and was picked up on a routine mammogram so she said she just went straight for the mascetomy, they wanted to take half her breast though, so I said If I had the option of taking half or all I would of went with the whole lot as well

Anyhow then they called me in, was so quick, before I knew it I was on stretcher in anaesthetist’s room, then we argued lol. He was hopeless and I told him so! He got the needle in then I was yelling and carrying on as he missed the vien, I said don’t tell me you didn’t get it right! Then he was going mmm, ohhh and making all these stupid noises, I said ‘Would you stop making them noises and try and think positive and do it right!! He then tried again and stuffed it up again, so I was screaming and yelling at him, then finally he got the damn thing in, he said I could of got a student in, I said well go get one as they probably have fresh experience!!

The other guy come in after that and said they could hear me screaming through the halls, I said well he wasn’t good at it, I am a bitch lol, I am sure he was trying his best, but it was my arm he was stuffing around with!

On a stranger note, the older anaesthetist was outside with me and the nurse said she would put me in the computer as a statistic, and I said well I hope you mean a live one! And he said well anything can be arranged here, but that wasn’t the strange part, he commented on my file being thick and I said yeah I have had a couple of kids here, then he said well at least you not on volume 6 yet, he said some old people just wont die! He said they are 108 and keep kicking, they just wont die! That was a worry, I think I am going to keep my eye on a lot of old people suddenly dying at that hospital, hopefully he just had a dark kind of humour or something!

Anyhow woke up in recovery and had pretty low blood pressure so they had to lay me kinda upside down to try and fix that, I felt ok just woosy

I was in pain so they gave me something for that, but it wasn’t horrid pain, just pretty sore

Then I was determined to get out of there so I asked them if I could try sitting up, so done that for awhile then had a sandwich and drink and got up to get dressed and then felt a bit better, well out of it but better, they rang mum to come and pick me up at 3.30pm, I was walking sideways out of there lol, I knew I was but couldn’t control where I walked, anyhow got home and went to bed and slept until the kids were so noisy they woke me up, just felt really out of if for a few days and a bit of pain but nothing much really

So have an appointment with surgeon again on the 16^th of September, was going to ring them on Monday to find out results of pathology as I wasn’t waiting two weeks, but got a call this afternoon

The girl said they needed to see me on Monday, not my surgeon but the cancer specialists, so I panicked, thought straight away that they were going to operate again, she said no, you wont have anymore ops, so that was a relief, but anyhow at my hospital your case goes before a multi disciplinary board to discuss your case, includes my surgeon, my gp, oncologists and nurses I guess

Anyhow she said I have triple negative breast cancer, which is uncommon and they cant just give me the hormone therapy as they normally would, as it wouldn’t do anything really anyhow, so that was great!! I can’t just have a normal friggin type, have to have some uncommon type, she said its not rare but not something they see often. So they want to race me in as they are considering me for a new drug trial and need to organise it all ASAP if that happens. I will still have chemo, which hopefully it responds too and radiotherapy and not sure how the trial drug works in if they decide to go ahead on that one, I will find out more Monday

So if I decide to go ahead with trial then they have to send my pathology stuff to another lab to be sure that it is triple negative cancer and then go from there I guess, she said the trial thing was exciting, exciting how? I wasn’t one bit fucking excited!

i wonder though if they got the triple negative reading off the new cells they took then wouldn't that mean that it didnt come back clear re the extra stuff they took, worrying!

She also said my GP had told them that I had young kids, so of course I jumped to the conclusion that maybe I was fucked and he said it was sad re I had young kids, but someone said to me maybe he meant that I had young kids and might not be able to get in that fast, re Monday, so maybe that is the case, sounds better anyhow

So of course I Dr Googled and checked out what sort it was and read the word deadly if it comes back, but have decided cancer is cancer is cancer, doesn’t matter where I have it, its scary shit and could come back, I could have had any of them and it could still come back, I guess I cant control that, but doesn’t stop me thinking about it just the same

Anyhow I will know more Monday and will have the stress headache I have until then and well probably for years after that! The pharmaceutical industry is sure benefiting from me financially with the pain killers I buy!

This sucks no matter what way you try and look at it!

I have the look good, feel good thing on Tuesday, so hopefully that is ok, well should be, free makeup can’t hurt I guess and trying on wigs should be interesting

I am going to go to the local cancer place sometime next week, keep putting it off, but hard re moving house as well, just hope Monday I am not driving home sobbing, hopefully it’s a productive thing

Until Monday