A bad day

What a day

Couldn't sleep last night, just laid there with a billion quetions and worries going through my mind, but it was freezing so too cold to get back up

I went for echo cardiogram today, that was fine, well as in the test was, no idea on results, they done that so later when chemo happens they can compare the results to check chemo is not doing any damage to my heart

Every test just makes it more real, i was just so tired as well so didn't help

I went to kids daycare to pick up a form and told the director and broke down, just couldn't help it, she was really nice about it all

I am really unsure about a lump removal now, maybe it's a mistake, i will end up with a deformed breast, i don't see how that is a good outcome, of course i want to live first but i would rather have a good end result as well. A lump removal cant be reconstructed but a mascetomy can, so confusing

I was just emotional and so drained all day, have a constant headache, i feel like i am going crazy!!

Why is this happening to me?

I am going to gp tomorrow to talk to him about stuff and get some tablets to sleep, i can't continue on like this, i will end up commited!

I have CT scan tomorrow, i know it's only a scan but so scared about what it might show, just have to hope for the best i guess