Trying so hard today to see the positives in life!!

I am usually a pretty positive type of person, i have my days where i think argh but usually i can find something to bring me back up

But today it was yet another thing to add to my list of crap, a big tax debt!

I am thinking what have i done? why all this crap at once

Breast cancer, having to move and a big tax debt, argh

Usually pre all this shit i could think oh well things could be worse, but i can't think of how it could get much worse at the moment, god i hope it doesn't!

anyhow on to my positive thoughts

I could be nearly over this crap by xmas or just after and we all know how fast xmas creeps up on us, so that is a good thing

My children are healthy and happy, well most of the time, my poor little 1 year old had to get stitches yesterday, he had a fall at daycare and split his skin just above his lip, was gaping a bit so doc said he needed stitches, he screamed and screamed, but the doctor was fast and said he should just get a thin scar now

I have a great support network around me, people who are willing to put their life on hold along with me to get this done!

I got more gifts again today as well, so lovely that people are still thinking of me and sending stuff, so again something to be thankful for

so i guess even if it all feels like shit right now, it could actually be worse

just self talking here to get myself over it all

Ok back to medical crap

had bone scan yesterday, went ok, just had to have needle to put some stuff in to cling to bones so they showed up clear, she was really good at it and it didnt actually hurt, woohoo, actually i was told to wiggle my toes to take my mind of it, but i was trying to wiggle my toes but i had high shoes on and they were tight around toes so i was trying to wiggle them in them shoes, was kinda funny at the time

anyhow i had to go away for 2 hours to let that stuff work, then the scan itself was kinda like CT scan but this one comes up so close to your face, i had to close my eyes as it makes you feel weird, anyhow that takes 14 mins, watching the timer doesnt make it go any faster i found though lol

then after that they put me in for a full chest scan, so the machine spins around you for 14 mins, was a bit weird as well but nothing major

anyhow i was kinda glad they didnt focus on any other major body parts, as i thought if they focus too much on things then i would of worried more

so now its a matter of trying to keep busy and not think too much about the 22nd appointments, i highly doubt i would be able to find out results beforehand anyhow, i think they are sending them to my gp as well but wouldnt make much difference if i know beforehand anyhow, i keep thinking they have scheduled surgery already and i am sure they would of changed it if there was more to do?

anyhow i am going out this weekend for my birthday night bought forward and someones going away drinks, so hopefully that will go well and i can have a good night

have so much to do before the surgery date, have to try and pack up anything we arent using so its not all too much come moving time

so will be busy busy busy i guess

Forgot to add, i did ring cancer council after last post, she was nice, but maybe gave me a little bit too much info to obsess over! found out i have to have radiotherapy over and hour away, that sucks, but since then i have found that they pay for your petrol and help with parking costs, so i guess its not so bad, long journey for a short treatment though, but i guess its a break from kids everyday for 3 -4 hours for about 5 or so weeks, will be quiet in car lol